You will perhaps appreciate the irony.
I was sitting at a table, tucked in a corner. Had just placed my order for chicken, stuffed with goat cheese and roasted red peppers (which, by the way, was incredible). Poured some tea into a cup. Opened my book to chaper 4.
Turns out, chapter 4 is about fasting.
*****
My limited experience did not prepare me for Foster's discussion on fasting. My forays have been for a reasonable motive... to hear more clearly from God when involved with prayer ministry of some kind. But I've settled far too cheaply.
Here are some quotes, not in the order they appear in the text, but in the order in which they hit my heart:
"Physical benefits, success in prayer, the enduing with power, spiritual insights--these must never replace God as the center of our fasting."
"To use good things to our own ends is always the sign of false religion."
"Fasting must forever center on God. It must be God-initiated and God-ordained."
"This is the only way we will be saved from loving the blessing more than the Blesser."
Yep. I've settled far too cheaply.
*****
I've long had an inappropriate relationship with food. It has allowed me to circumvent some important emotional processes...
Don't let myself get too sad--
Don't let myself explore the edges of pain--
Don't let myself stand exposed in lonelyness too long--
Medicate with comfort food.
I know it's not healthy.
I know I should have gone to the Lord instead/more often/more earnestly.
I know I shouldn't have been so quick to shut down.
But I have.
It provided a measure of control.
While I may not have been able to control my circumstances, this I could control.
And so it was with my past experience with fasting. Another attempt to control my circumstances. I would suspend my use of food in exchange for hearing from God. And you know, I always did. Always.
But I missed out on so much.
Fasting must forever center on God."
"Outwardly you will be performing the regular duties of your day, but inwardly you will be in prayer and adoration, song, and worship. In a new way, cause every task of the day to be sacred ministry to the Lord. However mundane your duties, for you they are a sacrament. Cultivate a 'gentle receptiveness to divine breathings'."
And suddenly, fasting ceases to be about "doing". Fasting ceases to be a "tool" to be used to receive something from God.
Suddenly, for me, it is about another way of being with Him. It is another way to experience his presence; another way to be an attentive partner in a relationship. I think it was Dicky Ochoa who wrote in a song "I don't want to feel the breath of God on the back of my neck anymore, I want to feel it on my face...". Fasting is a way to turn and face the Lord, to give Him my undivided attention.
*****
It's a bit frightening, realizing the depth of relationship open to us with Christ; to begin to see how many venues He provides to explore and deepen that relationship.
Fasting isn't about going without. Fasting is about choosing concentrated time with God. It is about feasting on His presence, savouring it.
Turns out, Antonio's Restaurant was the perfect place to read this chapter.
14 comments:
Your the second person I read today that was talking about fasting...interesting. Did Foster say anything about fasting from something other than food for people with medical issues like diabetes for example? Just curious. Great post!!!
This is such incredibly good stuff. And I can just hear the growing, stretching in your post, God at work. I am so excited for you Erin. The road of spiritual formation is a hard one, but soooo worth the journey. And besides, where else we gonna go? The old ways in which we have been have not made us who we deeply long to be. You have said as much in your post. You are in my prayers my sister.
Peace
"Fasting isn't about going without. Fasting is about choosing concentrated time with God. It is about feasting on His presence, savouring it."
Great thoughts Erin. I recently experienced exactly what you described.
Over the summer, I gave up music for a couple of weeks. The simple act of reaching for the CD player in my car became an entry way into a concentrated time with God.
Well Woman-Foster concentrates on abstaining from food in the Celebration of Discipline. However, he has written and edited other works where he adovcates alternate fasts. In a book called Spiritual Classics he includes a section written by Catherine Marshall called Fasting from Criticalness. Marshall's fast is aimed at her own critical spirit. I think he also discusses alternate fasts in the Freedom of Simplicity. My own $.02 on the matter, I believe fasting is a heart thing and so I don't think it necessarily matters what is offered to God in a fast.
Foster's book has been a catalyst for change in my life for many years now. I always pick it back up with hesitancy as I know that God will be challenging me to new areas of growth through the discipline of my faith. I must admit that it is often like exercising an atrophied muscle. Another book you might find interesting, on the same topic, is by Derek Prince, 'Shaping History through Prayer and Fasting.' God be with you as He stretches you and causes you to grow.
I used to have a good book called fasting for spiritual breakthough- I must have lent it to someone - and can't recall who - or more relevently for this comment who the author is. But it was very good practical teaching.
just googled it it's by Elmer L Towns.
:)
Fasting is an important discipline- and not about not eating food at all :)
I, too, have focused on the not eating part. But as I have pondered your thoughts here, I was struck by the awareness that focusing on "not eating" is to focus on the "doing" not on the "being." I've always been better at that. Doing is so much more measureable, controlable. Much work to still do here.
You know, those quotes you mentioned are just SO TRUE!
When I started looking up fasting and thought to try it, it was definitely with a spiritual intention (prayer for breakthrough in a situation).
One website I found with a lot of information also had a forum where people could write up journals and share their fasting experiences. It was a great idea, and I did my first two fasts that way, journaling. But I found it a distraction after a while because a lot of the people fasting were doing it for their own reasons – weight loss, detox etc. It had a mix of people, Christian and Non, so of course not everyone was doing a spiritual fast, and with that kind of atmosphere I felt the temptation to use fasting for my own reasons (loose a couple of kilos quick). I tried that a few times outside of my spiritual fasts and each time I didn’t make it past day one!! Yet when I felt the call to fast for spiritual reasons I could make it to 7 days without any problems – the right focus was there in those times.
So I’ve learnt (through experience) that there is only one reason for me to ever fast – it has to be something that God has led me into, a fast when God is 100% at the centre - not a fast motivated by the benefits it will bring. Perhaps this is why I find my ‘other types of fasts’ more beneficial (fasting from TV or Internet). With the food there is always a temptation to get sidetracked by the weight loss and appearance thing.
I agree with TK that fasting is a heart thing and it doesn’t really matter what is offered to God in a fast. Hmmm, fasting from criticalness...what an interesting idea :)
(PS - sorry for the long comment, it's almost the length of a post I know! But your post on this chapter got me thinking again, after I did my own chapter review...hmmm, there's always more to think about even when you think you're done)
:)
Fasting is incredible. We don't realize how much of our bodies natural response is selfish until we fast. We talk about the "flesh" but don't realize how much our bodies speak to us until we deny it food for a day.
Fasting is a great way to learn the voice of our selfish bodies. There is a time to hear that voice and respond, and a time to make our bodies submit to a higher and often Godly ideal.
Wow Erin,
what beautiful (and butt kicking) perspective on that chapter.
I loved this:
Fasting is a way to turn and face the Lord, to give Him my undivided attention. What an incredible challenge... I want to become undivided, to lay aside all the junk that so easily entangles. Help Dad.
I also really like what Van says: fasting shows us how selfish we can be. Sometimes i've got the biggest planks of wood in my eyes... man. I'm so thankful for your grace that is leading me on to better things.
That is a really meaningful post Erin. I really like the idea that fasting has to do with forever focusing on God, not ourselves, or the food. God has to be our priority.
You lovely folks have given me so much to think about. This just keeps rolling around in my brain, and I'm thinking I'm going to have to revisit this again soon.
Your generosity always blesses and astounds me...
Erin, this post hits me, and makes me ponder much.
Thank you for your honesty and for this word I needed to hear at this moment.
I stumbled upon your post via a link: http://virtualdiscipline.blogspot.com/
I had been searching the internet for posts on "rigorous honesty."
I see you are from Canada so I'll tell you that I am one of the founding directors of Regina Rescue Mission in Saskatchewan.
My Program Director is studying Foster's book and teaching it once a week to men and women on our year-long LifeChange Dicscipleship Program. I will forward her this thought-provoking and well-written blog post.
I fasted for 3 weeks last month, taking the final week off as a "sabattical." From experience, I heartily concur with everything you've written.
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